“Do nothing.” She was very clear on this point. Very clear, crystal clear, very clear. “Once the end is certain, do nothing to prolong my life.”
The end was not certain for two whole years. The gamut of available treatment was attempted. After each treatment failed, an alternative was presented, and a choice was made. The alternatives got less attractive. The treatments got more invasive. The choices got harder. And the news only got worse.
And once it gets in the lymph nodes, it’s all over. No more choices. Alternatives, yes. There are always alternatives. But not choice.
“Do nothing.” She was very clear on this point. Very clear, crystal clear, very clear.
The doctors still took convincing. They are, after all, prolongers of life by nature and trade. Doing nothing is not in their nature. But she had been very clear on this point. Very clear, crystal clear, very clear. Also, she had filed the proper paperwork to allow others to make the point for her, after she could not. The others were very clear on this point. They convinced the doctors. Now we are all clear on this point. We are all of one mind. We have made the right choice, the only choice, the final choice. We are doing nothing.
She will not receive food unless she asks. She will not receive water unless she asks. The latest infection will not be treated unless she asks. Some system will give out. We do not know which one. Until then, she is on drugs. Powerful drugs. Drugs with only one purpose: to mask unmaskable pain and ease unbearable suffering while we are all busy doing nothing.
We are on the event horizon now. The end is certain, but it has not arrived. Life has gone, but death has not yet come. We spent two long years praying for life. Please join us now as we pray for death.
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© 2001–9 Mark Pilgrim