After over a year of living together, D finally convinced me that we needed to buy a set of slip covers for our sofas. Specifically, her sofas, which, quite frankly, were hideous and clashed with everything (as opposed to my sofa, which was quaint, and had character). I thought the sofas were beyond saving, but I must admit that the slip cover is a vast improvement, especially once we (and by we, I mean she) read the instructions on how to put it on.

I had always looked down on slip covers, for the same reason I looked down on toupees: here we have a thing (a piece of furniture, a man) trying to be something it (he) is not. I can still see the original sofa around the corners, I can still see the bald spot, and so forth. You are, as they say, not fooling anyone.

Then again, I’ve dyed my hair blonde for the past 7 years, so what do I know.

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