dive into mark

‣ April 5, 2003 ‣

Things Hannah Had No Intention of Telling Andrew

His green puffy jacket, the one he takes out of the back of the closet and starts wearing as soon as possible every winter, makes him look 12 years old.
When they first started dating, her sister told her that she should consider him a practice boyfriend to learn how to fix up a man, and she agreed.
That time they did it in the laundry room of his apartment complex, which he has repeatedly stated was his best time ever, she faked it.
Her first time was at 15, not 18.
Since she first saw him naked, he has lost his abs, gained some love handles, and lost a quarter inch from his hairline.
She was kind of involved with her roommate for about two weeks in college, but she broke it off and never told anyone.
When she goes to visit her sister in Delaware, she gets together with two of her old college friends and smokes pot, even though she promised him she would never do that again.
She wishes he made more money.
In month eight, she decided this was the man she was going to marry. She told him it was because they were soulmates, but it was really just a conscious decision to settle down.
After Andrew proposed, she looked at the ring and her first thought was, “Is that it?”
When they moved in together, she thought he would be impossible to live with, but he was surprisingly thoughtful.
She says she goes to the day spa because she has a weak back, but it’s really because her massage therapist has learned how to touch her, and Andrew never has.
She secretly smoked for the first six months they were dating, and when she quit, she realized she couldn’t share her accomplishment with him, and she swore she would never lie to him again.
She used to think she was too good for Andrew, but now she knows it’s the other way around.

Thirteen comments here (latest comments)

Poignant, bittersweet, and a telling reminder about what compromise will do to a relationship.

— Ken
Well done. Very nicely crafted.

— Tom Bridge
She faked it… that was funny.

— geek
Life on Mars (trackback)
Every relationship has a list such as this.

— anthony
Funny, yet true.

— timstesttubes
Damn.
Actually, this entry should be read before visiting http://www.harpold.com/500/paddock/00000206.html
Because Leslie did it better.

And “She wishes he made more money” is something she has no intention of telling him? Could this be an attempt at Science Fiction?

— Dotan
Good thing humans can’t read each other’s minds!

— GilbertZ
Nothing more truthful in life than he said, she said, or in the literal this time, she said, he said.

— David
how do you secretly smoke?

i wouldn’t think the smell would be easy to hide?

— Anonymous
Ask a secret smoker. I secretly smoked for 6 years.

— Mark
Secret smokers? Ha! Child’s play!

I have been a secret squirrel for almost 40 years. I started in 1965.

How is it done? Well, I chew a lot of mints to hide the smell of nuts on my breath, I wear sunglasses to hide my eyes when they are especially beady, I always make very sure that no one I know is around when I’m nibbling on something, and I tell people that my big bushy tail is a very twitchy seeing eye-dog.

— secret squirrel
But does she love him ?

— M Hardner

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