Ah Day care…
Ask:
what their rules are for parent visits.
what they feed them.
when they feed them.
what the rules are around sickness (you, your kid, other kids, etc.)
spare clothes?
kid interaction
what’s their philosophy? (can they break it don’t to a few simple sentences?
Good luck! :-)
Ask for contact information on other parents who use the daycare center. If this seem too intrustive, visit when parents usually pick up their kids and ask them in person.
— Don Park 
Jeffrey’s first suggestion above is a key indicator as to how they run things: ask how they feel about you dropping by during the day. A good daycare will encourage parents to visit during the day (some bad ones probably do, too, though, so it’s not the only thing). Also ask about how/if their caregivers are trained, especially if NC has a certification.
Daycare is tough. It’s hard to leave them every day. Our six-month old has been going for about seven weeks now. *He* doesn’t seem to mind it (and he loves the head teacher in his room), but it tears me up every morning when I drop him off.
Good luck!
— Steven
In addition to asking the parents about how they feel about the daycare, ask the parents what they do for a living. Believe me, knowing the background of the other children makes me feel more comfortable.
Also, really good providers (and preschools) will have folks on staff with early childhood degrees.
— joy
Especially with babies, how many babies per adult? How much holding and attention do they give the babies? Do they have regular fire drills or emergency drills? It’s been too many years. That’s all I can think of right now. Good luck. Have you considered having someone come into your home? I think it’s a much better scenario when your baby is really young.
— Marie
Make sure there staff have been cleared through some sort of Police check
— Richard
Make sure they’re accredited by the NAEYC (National Assn for the Education of Young Children – http://www.naeyc.org/accreditation/default.asp). If they are, they’ve probably told you already, because it’s a big deal.
Ask to come in and observe during the day, *not* during the tour. Watch to see how they handle crying babies, feeding, napping, etc.
Looks like the only NAEYC accredited center in Apex, NC is:
St. Andrew’s Early Childhood Center
008 Old Raleigh Road
Apex, NC 27502
919/387-8656
(the NAEYC site has a searchable database, so you can check other nearby towns)
I hate to be the turd in the punchbowl (my assigned lot in life), but Why in heaven’s name would you have a child, only to dump it in day care, away from both of you for most of its waking days?
The whole point of being a family is to raise children, which means lavishing most of your life (time) on them.
The whole argument about quality time vs. quantity is hogwash–kids need plain ol’ quantity.
(We have eight of our own (20 down to 2), so I know something of what I speak.)
— Chris
Ask for a copy of their policies. They’re bound to have them. Can your mother/aunt/friend pick up the child without too much effort or do you need to call ahead and let them know who’s coming, when, what they look like, and profvide a headshot?
Read the policies, make sure they jive with how you would expect them to operate.
Don’t forget to check the grounds, the toilets, and the toys. A well cared for facility speaks well of the type of attention they will pay to your child.
— Lou
My mother is retiring in a few days from a daycare center (started by the Red Cross and taken over by City Hall), after a 40-year carrier. She knows a couple of things about daycare centers, I guess, and among the few things she repeated a lot about their operations, I remember that:
1. having parents drop in during the days (unless it is to pick them up early) is a main disturbance. She was mostly in charge of babies (3 months to 1 year) and the kids usually cried a lot when the parents (mostly the mothers) dropped in and left. This is also why they started a special unit for parents who want to/are able to (how many working parents have the freedom to leave their jobs at will?) come and go.
2. all staff members hold a nationwide sanctionned degree (in the case of me ma a nurse degree), and they have a psychologist on board (although that addition wasn’t the most successful one. That psychologist was a young kid who didn’t have kids, so the overall feeling at the daycare center was “have some kids first and them come back and tell us how to do our job”).3. the best-raised kids were not always those with a higher social background. There actually wasn’t much of a rule there. My ma used to say that she knew how difficult (although that never lasted very long with her :-) a kid
would be to handle just meeting with the parents… And I have to agree, since I met some, who became friends with us. There were lawyers, bank clerks, factory workers, secretaries, the whole gamut of the society.
Good luck
There’s more I think, but that’s what I remember offhand.
— dda
Hey, is this better than Google Answers or what?
— Don Park
Activities? Do they do art projects or do they stick the kids in front of the boob tube? Do they sing and listen to music and read to them? Twice a year, our daycare would have an art show and performance where they hung the kids’ art and usually had them give a performance of some kind.
Size/type? I think a smaller in-home daycare is better than biggger, more institutional settings. With a smaller daycare, you don’t have the same problems about who can pick up the kids, etc. At drop-off, mention that Aunty Becky is picking them up and you’re good.
Age Groups? Are the kids segregated by age? My 11-year-old son loooooves babies and little tykes. Why? Because he grew up around them in daycare.
Potty Training? What are their policies. We took our son out of his first daycare because she insisted on potty training him at 20 months and he wasn’t ready.
Flexibility. My daughter stopped taking naps at 2. What happens with her during nap time? It would have been a nightmare if they’d forced her to stay with the other kids. Instead they helped her sit quietly and look at books or help prepare the afternoon snack, or whatever.
Staff turnover? We were so lucky to have a family, in-home daycare situation with a mother and her daughter as primary caregivers. We had kids there for seven years and with the exception of a few fill-ins, there was zero turnover. I put this last, but I think it’s probably the most important. Low turnover means a good working environment for the caregivers and really helps the kids bond.
A lot of good questions here, but I’ll throw in one more that I haven’t seen any hint of:
What’s their philosophy/policy on punishment?
When we were searching for daycare for our two-year old son, that was one of our biggest concerns. We are (for the lack of a better term) anti-spanking parents and the last thing we wanted was a daycare that would undermine our philosophy.
The best answer to that question was from our son’s present day-care provider: Distraction.
— Jason
Check their policy on collection of the child. Do they take photographs of those allowed to take the child out of the centre ?
— Dolly
I definitely agree with Liz’s comment: go and see the place in the daytime. Are the kids happy? Are the staff happy? Is everyone having fun? Does it *feel* like a place you would be comfortable leaving your baby behind? Facts, concrete answers, and formal policies are all good and well, but give your heart at least an equal voice in this decision.
As soon as your baby is born, raw emotion and base animal instincts hit you in a *big* way. You probably won’t end up sniffing the air for pheromones, but protecting your offsping is something you do with your whole being, not just with your head.
— Martin
Ask them how often they clean/disinfect their toys and play areas. Good day care centers should at LEAST clean/sanitize their toys and playarea everyother day.
Ask them how many hospitalizable accidents they’ve had in the past 3 years. Ask for their list of staff. Check that none of their staff is on the list of sex offenders: http://megans-law.net/North-Carolina-Megans-Law.asp..
— Andy
Lots of good answers here. Pay close attention to #18.. very important to do a background check on those who will be watching your kids.
Ask them how they feel about the fact that the closer you get to truth, the less you actually know. This should reveal how they deal with paradox.
— Michael
Day care? Ask them exactly what sort of sex education is going to be administered.
— dmorelli
Is it normal in the U.S. these days to begin looking for day-care options while the wife is still pregnant?
I have a 9-month old daughter and I can’t even imagine dropping her off at some facility. Yeah, it’s coming….
I guess I’d have to agree with Chris (comment #9).
Ask about first aid or emergency care certification for staff. Is at least one staff member at all times trained in CPR? First response?
All of the other suggestions are great.
As far as dropping children off at day care goes, in a perfect world we wouldn’t have to do that. Sadly, it’s not a perfect world and sometimes both parents have to work. Don’t for one moment think that giving your child to “strangers” for part of the day means you love them any less. The fact that you’re putting such care and attention into selecting these “strangers” shows that you do love them…
— Chris
What everybody else said, even when they contradict each other.
I went down to a 4 day work week – 80% of the hours, 80% of the pay – and it’s been worth every penny. It only took a couple of months to adjust to the cash flow change.
If your wife can go to a four day week as well, set it up so you take fridays to be with your kid and she takes mondays, or vice versa. This way you only have to farm the child out to daycare 3 days a week. If there are grandfolks in the vicinity you can whittle this down a little more.
You each get a day to yourselves, which is important. You’ll discover things about/with your child that you don’t as a bigger collective. Sometimes Mom & Dad get in the way each other. :)
Also holidays are great: you each only take one extra day off, but you get a four day weekend!
Mark, I have two kids (6 and 4) and both of them went to daycare at the age of 3 months. (And also I reduced to working 80% – (se comment #24 – that was well worth it).
Daycare has helped my kids develop a lot of social skills that they wouldn’t have had if they grew up in the “pure” family setting (which actually is something that has been brought to us during the industrialisation – it’s not the way humanity grew up – big families, multi-families being the norm)
I live in Switzerland, so my comments may be biased. Also, I have been involved in the first day care center my kids were in (It was a company day care, and I was on the board of it as a company representative) and my wife and I took over another day care that threatened to close. Now my wife has built and managed another day care with 40+ kids here where we live.
Daycare is a tough job! Talking Switzerland, you need two trained & educated “nurses” and a couple of “interns”.
Things I would look for:
- Education/Paedagogic concept – what’s their human image? how do they look at the development of the child? what activities do they perform? Montessori?
- Food policies (probably irrelevant with babies) ;-) What food, where from, healthy?
- General cleanliness of the place? Are playthings organized or is it a mess?
- What kind of toys do they have? (plastic, batteries vs. toys that challenge the kids)
- Is there enough space for the kids to play outside? Do they go outside every day? Walks in the park, wood?
- How is the financial situation of the day care? A daycare place here costs 80-100 CHF (50 – 70 US$ ) which I guess is higher than what you are going to pay. However we had one center that was going to close down 2 weeks after we brought our son because they couln’t manage their money.
- Do you feel comfortable with the daycare center? Does it feel like you wanted to spend your day (as a child there). Is the atmosphere good
hmm – that’s it for now – good luck!
I agree with Matt in comment #24. My wife and I decided to work shorter hours and we’ve managed to arrange our work so that we’re never both working at the same time.
Our income-level dropped according to that, but instead we’ve gained so much precious time with our 14 month old son, that seems in hindsight worth so much more that the money we gave up.
We think of our reduced work-load (and lower income) as pure luxury. We’re more relaxed than we’ve been in many years, our son seems to be growing to be an extremely well-adjusted individual, he’s formed strong emotional bonds to both his mom and me and my wife and I are both equally good at taking care of him.
Now we’re buying a bigger apartment and Our Little Guy will be soon going to daycare (half-day only at first) so we’ll be increasing our work-hours back to something closer to normal.
I only hope you’ll be as lucky as my wife and I, to be able to choose whatever way *you* want to go about this whole raising-a-small-baby business. :-)
Things I’d do when choosing daycare:
1) Get to spend half a day, or 1-2 hours at least, in the daycare and quetly observe from the sidelines how they treat the babies. Follow your gut.
2) Talk to other parents who’s babies have been at that same daycare for a while. Listen to what they have to say.
3) Ask about important things like dicipline (if they ever use “punishments”) and their general philosophies/biases/etc. and methods of solving conflicts.
4) Ask about the type and quality of food they serve?
5) Wait for your baby to be born, and get to know him, and get to know yourselves through him. This too will help you decide on a daycare. :-)
l
Daycare is a great way for your kid to get some socialization if you’re in a situation where there aren’t other kids around.
When we looked at daycare, we got the best information by looking around. Was there interesting stuff for the kids to play with? (The place we chose had lots of neat stuff, including a pet snake and some rabbits (outside)). We also looked at how the kids behaved. Where they out of control? Little zombies? Happy and engaged? This can depend on the mix of kids, and can change over time, but we ruled out one otherwise good looking spot becaues the kids just seemed… off.
— Dave
Staff turn over can be quite telling, the best places we used had almost zero. Ratios staff/child are interesting but usually the state mandate dominates the outcome. Your kid is young for this next point but … There will be some child on child violence in all situations, the question is how they handle it. For example enquire what they do about biting.
Day care was absolutely wonderful for all three of my kids. A fun rich experiance. They all had some seperation issues but if you plow thru them they tend to pass pretty quickly. They started later, as toddlers, than your planning though.
While personally I think it’s often harder on the parents kids do vary as to how social and extrovert they are.
— Anonymous
Mark, this might seem a little geeky, but ask if they have a webcam so you can ‘peek in’ during the day. Some daycares have them now, and it’s existence would give me a bit of reassurance that no mental or physical abuse was occuring.
Similarly, besides their policies regarding pickup, inquire about their security arrangements and their procedures for dealing with various emergencies (kidnapping, flood, burglary, etc.), as well as how they deal with violations of their policies and procedures.
Ask yourself if it’s not just as financially feasable for one parent to stay home and raise the child.
I have to agree with the “One parent stay home” and “no dare care, you can do it” philosophy. I never had the benefit of being in a marriage to actually test this philosophy, but I want to devote all I can to my son. Those who would ask me to work overtime now know you can’t expect me to give up any time other than the time I was contracted to work at the company.
My suggested approach is to look at your lives first. What can you give up? Who makes more money? Can you find a part time job in 4-5 years when the child gets into school? Frankly I think someone should take a hiatus from the professional world until the kid gets into school. I know by that time I’d go stir crazy so then I myself would go back to work after that time.
— Adrian
What you are looking for is a Person that:
* will really care about your child
* has few other distractions.
* will put your child ahead of other things in life. * will consistently teach the things important to you and your wife.
* will stick around for the long term.
The only person who can really do that is you or your wife, or perhaps a grandparent.
A couple others:
1. Ratio of adults / kids. Try spending time alone in a room with 5 kids and then ask yourself if a 5:1 ratio is acceptable.
2. Crib policies. Good places will either give a kid a specific crib or at least their own linen, usually the parents provide it and take it home for washing once a week.
3. Activities aren’t all that important until at least 18 months. Kids younger than that just aren’t capable of doing organized activities, though it’s nice if they don’t have the TV on all day. Your daycare concerns will change dramatically as your child gets older.
Well, I have to add one more voice to those who would ask you to think of ways you can avoid day care, or use it as little as possible. Nothing beats spending the time with your child, especially in the early years. If you’re proud of past accomplishments in your life, just wait… They’ll pale in comparison to being a good parent.
— pete
Let me preface my comments by saying that my family has been involved with childcare for the last 13 years (it’s the family business).
1) Consider having one parent stay home for at least the first 18 mos. – 2 yrs. Afterwords, part time care may be appropriate. INFANTS SHOULD NOT BE IN FULL TIME CARE. Many reputable child care centers that I have encountered also make the same recommendation. Child care is a less-than-optimal situation for your child, though it is a necessary evil for many.
2) You DON’T want cameras pointing at your kids in childcare to be accessible on-line. Closed circuit systems are good, as they allow for review and observation by management in the facility. Cameras available on-line are a safety issue for many children (though that may not apply to yours). A large number of children in childcare (in general, exceptions surely exist) come from broken homes. When I say broken, I don’t mean that mom & dad are simply divorced, I mean that there may be no-contact orders or messy custody battles. In many of these cases, these parents (or their nutcase relatives) can present a safety risk to not only their own child, but all other children in a care situation with those children.
3) NAYEC Accredidation, while not a bad thing, is as much political as anything else. If a strong multi-cultural curriculum is important, accredidation may be something to look for.
4) Low staff to child ratios. Kids need attention more than anything else. Young children are not independant…that’s why they get parents. They need emotional support as much as they need food, water, and air. They need it from stable, consistent adults. See #1 above.
For all of the “Childcare socializes your children” and “It’s good for them to be with other kids” recommendations that are out there, most research shows that kids that stay at home with one or more parents/family members are “better off” (better off being subjective, I guess). As in any large care situation, compliance and conformity, not personal exploration and learning are the focus; not because the staff, etc are uncaring, but because there are too many kids to give each the optimal level of attention. Individual attention suffers, especially as the child ages. In many states, after infancy, staff to child ratios are 1:7 then 1:10 then 1:15 as they get older.
I didn’t mean to sound preachy. I’m sorry if I did. I’ve just watched so many kids go through childcare from infancy to middleschool (most kids get kicked out of daycare after age 12). The disconnect from mom & dad that so often occurs is very sad.
In the interest of full disclosure, I have two kids, 3 & 4, who attend pre-school 3 mornings (4hrs, MWF) per week. The rest of the time they are with Mom or myself.
Thanks,
Cameron
— Cameron S. Watters
Cameron,
I agree that preschool for 2 or 3 day ( or half days) get what most parents want for “socializing” their child.
Also give mom a break with out disconnecting her from the child.
Adding my vote to the many others before, I’d say that you should wait AT LEAST until your child is 18 months before starting with childcare, or limiting the number of days that you do daycare for until your child is a bit older. It has a big impact on your relationship with your child later on, or at least that’s how I’ve felt about it.
Then again, I work from home, and I’ve been lucky in that I’ve been able to support the family. My wife stayed home with our now 2-and-a-half year old daughter full-time until this fall. And I worked at home and dealt with our sons when they were pre-school age.
If you don’t have a choice for financial reasons, check what the certification of the provider is. Maryland has a required Early Childhood Education certification for all daycare providers; look into what certification North Carolina requires, and how far beyond that the folks at the daycare you’re looking into have. The ratio of kids to grownups is important, too; how quickly do they respond to a child in distress if there’s two people for ten infants, or two for eighteen as some states allow?
It’s also worth doing an economic analysis of what you’re getting out of daycare. I don’t know what the demand for childcare is like down your way, Mark, but most (good) places around here in Baltimore have almost a year-long waiting list to get in, and child care expenses here for children under 2 are sky-high when they’re available. We have our daughter in 3 days a week from 9 to 2:30, and that runs us about $250 a month. If we had her in full-time, it would be close to $1000 a month, or more. For an 18-month old, it could run $1500 to $2000 a month.
— Sean G.
I agree with the others that you should look into having one parent stay home with the child. When my wife bacame pregnant with out first we decided that she would be a stay-at-home mom. We saw a news program that talked about the second income myth, and realized that her income would go just go to the daycare anyway. We would be paying someone to raise our own child! Our first son is in 1st grade and our second is 4 and in half-day preschool. During the past years my wife has become a photographer and is currently getting certified to teach yoga. All while raising our two sons. Just be sure and really look at all of your options and not just what seems like the standard, or easiest.
http://www.ncregister.com/Register_News/Tushnet-Day%20Care.htm
— Randy
Following up my previous comments, if you feel like full-time (or near full-time) care is a necessity, you might consider a home-based childcare. In the State of Washington (where I live) there is a maximum of 12 total children allowed, and no more than 8 with only one provide (younger ages in the children will limit the ratios even more, in many cases to 1:4 or 1:6). Additionally, the environment feels more like home and typically there is 0 turnover. The person your child gets to know will become nearly family to them as most home childcare programs are owner operated in the providers own home. In these programs, kids are also likely to be able to progress through their childcare years with one provider.
At Many center-based programs, even if they have zero turnover, your child will be “promoted” from one classroom to the next as they get older. That means in 5 years (assuming you start at infancy…which I don’t recommend–see above), your child may have at least 5 or 6 different care providers, and in larger facilities, will be a part of a group of 15-20 kids (with multiple staff per room).
–cameron
— Cameron S. Watters
It is a sad day when so many parents treat their children like accessories, not as valuable, important beings…
Do you feel guilty leaving your dog in a kennel?
After your child has entered Day Care look for the beginnings of separation anxiety From my years of experience with children and discussions with people in the field of early childhood development, there are theories that such anxiety can affect adult coping mechanisms and ability to learn through association.
Good luck with giving your kid to someone you don’t know.
It’s a sad day when people feel obligated to impose their moral world-view on someone else.
That said, trust your gut more than just about anything else. If the center doesn’t *feel* right, walk away.
If you don’t instinctively like the people that will be caring for your child, walk away.
My oldest child still remembers (very fondly) two of his caregivers from when he was only about two years old.
Bryan
— Bryan Pietrzak
I agree with Bryan. Only you can make sense of what’s right for your situation. If you need daycare, you need daycare. I went to a sitter from when I was about 6 months old on–my folks’ landlady, Mrs. Valvo. I turned out fine. I think. I still have an unexplainable longing for spaghetti sauce with Italian sausage, though…
— Sean G.
we have a 13-month old son. we have both worked and paid a nanny to care for him 40 hours a week since 2.5 months. she’s great, but now we realize that after taxes and a few small lifestyle adjustments, we could afford to take care of him those 40 hours ourselves. we hesitate to let the nanny go only because they have bonded and we like her, but maybe it’s best to step up to the plate. we’re both working only so we can pay her. that’s not quite right.
i would not consider putting an infant into daycare unless you *really* *really* *really* know and trust the care providers, the adult/child ratio is very high, etc.
ps: the first 6 months you may feel that any warm body with an iota of sense or empathy could handle the basics of poop evacuation and soothing, and wonder why this is a good use of your highly valuable time, but later you’ll get it. it’s mostly for you in the early months. then you start to see the neurons connect and the awesome responsibility hits.
— todd
FWIW, I’m another “why day care so early?” person. I was brought up in the traditional English upperish middle class way, not day care, but nannies to whom I grew very attached,, and who would be regularly sacked if my parents thought I was too fond of them. I don’t think that kind of turnover of caregivers is good. Children need long-lasting attachments. Of course, these can be formed in the right day care, but, even then, it’s worth postponing things for some time.
My first child was born in Sweden, which meant that his mother and I had eighteen months of parental leave to split between us, most of it paid. I did almost all of it after he was three months old. I’m not a very good mother; I can’t do the babbling that children need. But I wouldn’t have been without the experience for anything, and, until they stop afternoon naps, you can get an amazing amount of work done around one baby’s life.
My daughter was born in England eleven years later. No benefits worth mentioning there. I think I got a week off work when she was born. _Her_ mother stayed home from the beginning. We were very broke, and I didn’t much enjoy this. But it suited both of them.
Obviously, a huge amount depends on what suits particular parents, as well as children. By the time the child is two, both parents and baby will be screaming for day care. And babies are born different. Some are introverts; some thrive on stimulation. A lot of how well a child adapts will depend on its particular temperament, and what that is, you’re all going to have to find out.
But if you want one practical rule for a day care centre, it should have no television at all.
— Andrew
I worked in early childhood education and daycare for nearly ten years. My son, now three, attended daycare for about four months as an infant and then my husband and mother wanted more time with him so they took over care. Depending on the center, its management, and the state, I would not hesitate to enroll him in daycare again because when it’s good, it’s really good. I’m a product of 10 years in quality daycare from the 70s, back in the day when Bev Boss, Ella Jenkins, Sesame Street, and actual play were important in ECE… these days, it’s really hard to find a place that doesn’t just do custodial care.
Anyway, here’s the guide that Maryland used to give to parents who were seeking childcare at a licensed facility:
When looking for child care, it is important to visit a child care facility when children are involved in program activities. That will give you an opportunity to see if the children like the program and how they get along with program staff. This may also give you an idea of how well the program suits your child. If you find a facility you think is suitable, try to come back for a second visit and take your child. Does your child seem comfortable there? After the visit, try to find out from your child how he or she felt about the facility.
Before you visit any child care setting, you should call and talk with the family day care provider or center director to get some basic information.
Here are some questions you may want to ask:
* What time do you open and close?
* How much do you charge, and when are payments made? Weekly? Monthly?
* Does the price include meals and snacks, or do I need to bring food for my child?
* How many other children are in your program, and what are their ages?
* Are your services and fees written down in the form of a contract or service agreement?
If you are uncomfortable with the answers to any of these questions, the facility is probably not the right one for you.
When you visit the facility, there are three main things you should look for to make sure the program is the right one for you and your child. These three things are: the caregiver, the children, and the space within the facility which is used for child care.
1. Look at the Caregiver
* Can you talk easily with the caregiver? Are you comfortable with the person? Do you feel you can trust the caregiver?
* Does the caregiver seem to enjoy being with the children? Is he/she really listening and responding to them?
* Is the caregiver able to keep up with the children, or does he/she seem overly tired?
* Are the children supervised at all times?
* How does the caregiver discipline the children?
* Does the caregiver use a calm voice? Does he/she speak to the children on their own level?
* Does the program have written policies and procedures? If so, do parents receive copies?
2. Look at the Children
* Do the children seem to enjoy being with the caregiver?
* Are the children given a chance to make choices? Are they able to “explore” on their own?
* Do the children seem to understand and follow the program’s rules and routines?
3. Look at the Space Used for Child Care
* Is the provider’s child care license or registration displayed? Is it current?
* Does the program area look clean and safe?
* Do the children wash their hands before eating and after using the toilet?
* Are cleaning supplies, sharp objects, medicines, and other dangerous items put away out of the children’s reach?
* Is there enough space indoors and outdoors so all the children have room to play? Is the outdoor play area safe?
* Is there enough heat, light, and ventilation?
* Are there fire extinguishers and smoke detectors?
* Are all toys and materials in good condition? Are they suitable for the children’s ages? Can the children reach them easily?
* If meals and snacks are provided by the program, are they nutritious? Are they the kinds of food you want your child to eat?
* In general, does the program have a safe, healthy, and happy “feel” to it? Is it a place where children can be children?
If you can answer “yes” to all these questions after your visit, you probably found the right facility for you and your child. But you also have to listen to your instincts: if you feel uncomfortable with the facility for any reason, you should look for another one.
Basically, if the adult-child ratio for infants (typically 18 mos. and younger) is more than one adult per four babies at a center, which is the NAEYC recommendation, investigate home care or private care. Make sure there’s an open door policy for parents once children are enrolled so you can visit at any time of the day, that staff turnover is below the national average (currently 40%), that daycare licensing records show few (preferably none) violations for areas such as staffing and supervision. CPR and first aid are a given as well as open classrooms with ample equipment and materials for exploration.
You’ll find the North Carolina child care regulations here — http://nrc.uchsc.edu/STATES/NC/northcarolina.htm — review them during your daycare search so you’ll be able ask relevant questions of prospective providers.
Good luck — finding quality, reliable daycare is a tough quest and an even tougher decision to make, but important for your little one when it’s time! :)
— Mariann
Ok, folks…let’s not get judgemental.
One alternative, if money is not an object (or if your second income dwarfs the cost of child-care, thereby making child-care a massive financial benefit/necessity), is hiring a nanny. While it can be more expensive, and can be a more difficult hiring process, if you get the right person, it can be wonderful. My Sister-In-Law is currently a nanny and has become very close to the children she cares for — and that’s generally good for the kids. Also, this is a case where the installation of cameras IS appropriate.
I should re-iterate, though, that 3rd-party child-care is rarely better for the child than a parental care situation. If Mom and Dad are functional, home with one of them is definitely the best.
–cameron
— Cameron S. Watters
Why do you have children?
Because you want to or because you have to?
Why do you take your children to day care?
Because you want to or because you have to?
Sometimes we have children because we make poor choices. Sometimes we don’t have children because we make poor choices. Sometimes we live alone because we made poor choices. Children are a gift. A gift for the future. Don’t throw them away, don’t loan them to another. Treat them like precious jewels. One day they will be adults deciding your fate. Keep you at home to help you change your diapers, or put you in “adult care.”
I hope that you are able to read through these comments (not judgements, but voluntary suggestions) and make a choice for you and your child that will be the most honorable for your family.
— M Ingersoll
I agree with the comments, better to take the pain of raising your own, then allowing others to do so.
For the past 10 years, I’ve spent much of my spare time working with teens. The daycare kiddies are painfully obvious within minutes. They’re usually distracted, duller and disrespectful than the others.
Having a 3.75 year old, we made the decision four years ago to take a financial hit and have a parent home for the boo-boo girl. She’s now enjoying pre-school … and the teachers are enjoying having her there.
Mark, I’m not trying to be preachy here. Nor do I want to cast any judgements. If you do daycare, more power to you. You strike as a talented enough person to make it work.
From my vantage point, after my wife miscarried last year, and am now in a situation where we’ll probably not have others, I’m awfully glad we spent these formative years together with the one child we do have.
You need to read Deuteronomy 6
then, ask your self this question.
“Is it worth putting your child on the alter of success so you can have a bigger home, and a bigger car?”
Why do people treat their children as if they are curses or burdens…I have seen over the last few weeks how people who call themselves “parents” are really nothing more than big kids who still wanna “play house” Shame on the church for not teaching parents how to be parents!
DON’T SEND YOUR CHILD TO DAY CARE.
— Caleb
So many good comments. I think I’ll only be amplifying a couple.
If you or you wife can stay home with your child longer than what is typical (twelve weeks here in the States), do it. Six months is better than three. A year is better than that. Neither of you necessarily has to give up your career for ever.
Look at turnover. Consistency is very important in early childhood.
Trust your gut. Drop by unannounced and ask to look around. Are children being put in swings and cribs and left crying? How engaged do the caregivers and children seem?
Don’t worry about “socialization” yet. Until at least two years old, children don’t really play with one another so much as next to one another. Adult-child interaction is the key during these first years.
Consider a nanny. It isn’t cheap, but it allows gives your child stability and consistency that day care cannot. IMO it is really the next best thing to being there yourself–if you pick the right nanny. (More on that if you decide to go that direction.)
Good luck.
How do they screen their employees?
— netizen
Sorry if I’m repeating what someone has already said, it’s a big thread. ;)
Ask what kind of facilities, trained staff, or procedures the centre has to deal with allergies that your child might suffer from or develop. Obviously certain allergies may restrict the kinds of food a child can eat. Ask what diets are offered in this case.
— Conan
Q: Have you had any successful breakouts in the last two years?
— David
Interesting. You can talk about evaluating daycare centers a hundred and ten different ways, but that’s not being judgmental. Dare to question someone’s wisdom in sending their child to such a place, however, and you’ve committed the only indisputable sin left in this culture. Of course with this particular sin, two wrongs make a right, so it’s OK to be judgmental of someone you think is being judgmental.
I think there are very few cases where daycare is a truly necessary and better choice than momcare. If I found myself in such a situation, I would look for another mom who could care for my child along with her own, or a grandmotherly type who has raised her own kids and takes on a few kids in her own home. And you bet your bippy I’d judge those ladies up one side and down the other!
We have 3 young children. I’m the mama. I’ve stayed home since the first was born. It was a sacrifice of income, sure, better than sacrificing our children.
I’ve always known that I would stay home with my children and even homeschool them through high school. Send them to someone else, so that I can earn money? No way. I wouldn’t want someone else with my babies, toddlers, or elementary age children. They are young, impressionable, and our family ways are something that cannont be learned outside our family. Our family is influenced by enough already as a whole, need not have our youngsters be influenced by strange doctrines. They are children who need nurturing by the ones who love them the most, their parents. Regardless of the cost. So learn to live with less. Live life as life, not as a game to gain the most toys.
— Sue