Inspired by Mike Hommey (Google Keywords, Google Keywords - Feb 2007), I present a small sampling of the search queries that led users to my site last month. The only unifying theme is the word “can’t”:
- i can’t get no sleep — faithless (insomniac)
- if they can’t communicate the least they can do is to shut up — tom lehrer
- you can’t make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious — variously attributed
- if you don’t eat your meat you can’t have your pudding — pink floyd (the wall)
- what can’t gerbils have — pudding, for starters
- why can’t you copy a dvd — it’s a long story
- coding dvd to were they can’t be copied — lots of luck with that
- how to damage dvd so can’t copy video — my 3-year-old uses a bat
- i wiped out my operating system and reinstalled my windows xp but i can’t get my wireless card to work again how can i get the wireless connection back? — i have a funny story about that
- reinstalled windows thinkpad can’t access internet — so how did you find me?
- i reinstalled windows xp and now i can’t here anything — have you tried q-tips?
- can’t find hard disk — it’s behind the couch
- packard bell can’t reload windows xp — packard bell?!?
- ie can’t select text div — probably uses absolute positioning
- can’t view embedded objects in internet explorer — try firefox
- can’t cut or paste into or out of firefox 2 — try opera
- can’t reply to livejournal replies in apple mail — try ubuntu
- can’t play flac files ubuntu — try sudo aptitude install gstreamer0.10-plugins-good
- parents who can’t pay for babysitters — try fucking them
- no you can’t have a pony — not yours
- can’t smell vodka breath — keep telling yourself that
- “i can’t do this” bad client — http error 400?
- why can’t some users use iphoto? — let me count the ways
- if you don’t know i can’t explain it — believe me, i’ve tried
- how does it feel when somebody tells you what you can or can’t do — don’t tell me what i can’t do!
It’s funny how many people “talk” to their search engines.
My domain gets a humongous amount of hits for people searching for Playboy images. I’ve been thinking about doing an analysis to see what playbunny of the month people want most.
Comment by Johan Svensson — Thursday, March 1, 2007 @ 2:38 pm
It’s true. Maybe next month I’ll do a list based on complete sentences. Or complete questions. Many of them even include proper punctuation.
Comment by Mark — Thursday, March 1, 2007 @ 3:30 pm
It amuses me that this post reads as “can’t [dive into mark]” in my browser’s title bar. There’s a “walled garden” joke in there somewhere.
Comment by Ethan — Thursday, March 1, 2007 @ 9:39 pm
“How to install Windows XP in 5 hours or less” - Oh, the wonders of Microsoft. *damn updates* Thanks for the laugh. At least someone else besides me suffered…this time.
How intriguing that the common theme is “can’t.” I’ve always thought of this site as a place that “can.”
packard bell can’t reload windows xp — packard bell?!? - That, I love.
Comment by Renee — Thursday, March 1, 2007 @ 11:13 pm
I bet the “can’t smell vodka breath” query was an attempt to find info about an episode of the show Mythbusters. If I recall correctly, they did in fact find that vodka, or some vodka-based solution, was a good breath freshener.
Comment by Matt — Friday, March 2, 2007 @ 8:20 pm